Grief is Personal

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I sit in anticipation of grief around the corner, knowing that one of my greatest loves is taking her final lap. The emotional stress shows up in the obvious tears while other symptoms of the sadness linger beneath the surface. In-between quiet tears I find myself bantering with the woman known and loved by so many, my beloved GranEB. I’m sure I’ll have more to share on the lessons passed down and the legacy she’s left when the time finally comes, but for now I choose to communicate in-real-time the shift in my personal yoga practice to support my grief waves of grief / joy.

Grief is personal. The yoga tradition and sankhya philosophy introduce the three doshas (vata, pitta, kapha). The doshas provide a unique energetic blueprint we are born with that determine how we interact with the world. Your unique dosha(s) will influence your physical, mental and emotional response to grief. It has been quite fascinating living with my cousin during the shared experience of losing our last grandparent. While our circumstances are the same, our responses to how we process this goodbye are different.

Grief will demand our attention. And what I need to pay attention during this time to keep me centered will be unique. As a practitioner I look to my presenting symptoms:

  • physical - low back pain, aching joints

  • mental - anxiety, lack of mental focus

  • behavioral - fatigue, restlessness, low appetite

Two years ago while experiencing the grief of heartache and a global pandemic my symptoms spiraled. With experience comes wisdom. Through deep personal work, studying of the practice and the support of my teachers I’ve developed the ability to recognize signs + symptoms before they snowball and adjust my practice to support my needs. My current presenting grief symptoms indicate a vata imbalance. Understanding this points me in the direction of kapha. Incorporating the stabilizing and restorative practices will help calm my nervous system and effectively reset. This will include personalizing my practice with more :

  • warm baths + grounding foods

  • twists + forward bends

  • samvritti (1:1) and longer exhales (1:2)

  • yoga nidra

Yoga is personal. As I walk this final lap with GranEB I will remain disciplined and consistent in my practice, remembering it is not designed to eliminate grief but to remain connected to the full spectrum of the experience - joy.